Alfreds Game
Ender Wiggin- Enders Game
Alfred Brooks- The Contender
It
was a hot and sunny Friday at enders lake house. He was enjoying a nice
trip in his canoe to the center of the lake. He was sweating from the
heat so he decided to take a dip. As he dived into the cool blue water
he heard a sound. when he went under he listened more carefully. there
was the sound but it was constant now. he came up and looked around.
suddenly a black limousine turned onto his driveway. He quickly jumped
back onto the canoe and paddled to shore. The limousine stayed parked as
he approached it. Without warning a boy stepped out of the limo.
“Ender Wiggin?’
“Thats me and who are you?”
“My name is Alfred brooks-”
“Oh aren't you that rising star boxer that has only lost one match in his career?”
“Ya that's me and I'm here to have some fun”
“What do you mean “have some fun”
“Well ender i'm here because i want to prove to everybody that i'm the best boxer around”
“So where do i come into that plan”
“I want to fight you ender”
“What no”
“Under
normal boxing is boring i've beat every light weight out there. But i
heard that you took a self defence class in battle school and i want to
see if i can bust you in a 1 v 1 fight.”
“What's in it for me if i win?”
“You'll be the first lightweight to ever beat me in a fight. And i'll give you $500 for the win”
“Ok lets fight”
The
fight was scheduled for wednesday at midnight at Mr.Donatellis gym.
Both Ender and Alfred practiced vigorously for the fight. Neither wanted
to lose. The way the fight worked is the best to K.O the other won the
fight. They didn't want to do 3 rounds because they are both experienced
fighters and any hit would hurt enough to make them not think straight
in the next round.
The night of the fight finally came around and they both showed up ready to fight.
“Alright ender time to fight”
“good luck alfred”
They
both took their places on opposite corners of the matt. The bell was
rung and the fight began. Alfred came out aggressive first and tried to
use his speed to win against Ender. Ender started slow trying to find
the gaps in alfreds offens. They danced around the ring for for a minute
taking stock of the other fighter. out of nowhere alfred went in on
ender with a deadly right hook. Ender taken by surprise barley dodge the
punch. This time ender took the offence. When alfred was regaining his
balance after the punch ender moved in and jabbed at his ribs. He got a
few hits off before Alfred danced back and made some space between him
and ender. Alfred was ready to end this fight he wanted to show he was
the best fighter. He ran at ender throwing another right hook, as ender
went to dodge the hook alfred stopped his punch short pivoted and came
up with one of the hardest uppercut he ever threw. Ender realized his
mistake 1 second too late. He took the full force of the upper cut and
went out cold. He fell back on the matt and was out for at least 2
minutes. When he came to he saw alfred standing over him.
“Great fight ender”
“You to alfred, I didn't even see that uppercut coming”
“Well
i got to go, I have a big fight coming up and i need to train. I can
give you a ride back home and you can go on with your life.”
“Alright i'll be sure to watch your fight”
Ender made it home safely and alfred won his the match in a two round K.O.
i thought your story was good and well thought out in terms of character interactions. i thought that the fight ring was the best setting. it was really well described and i could very clearly picture Ender and Alfred fighting. I thought that the dialog was a little blocky and not very smooth but then again i really can't imagine someone who went out and fought aliens interacting with a boxer. other than the dialog, i didn't really see many problems with this story.
ReplyDeleteVery good story i really enjoyed it i hope you add more i would really like to see what happens to ender and the guy from conteder
ReplyDeletejolly good